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| Dear Slovie,
Again I must say thank you for your book which I've been reading a little each night. I have another question for you. With the advise of others I'm planning on working on training my 1 1/2 year old son to sleep through the night. I've done it once before with my 3 year old when he was that age. And though I was against the crying I was amazed how fast it happened. I'm still not comfortable doing it even though the books describe how to do it in the best way possible with structure and routines but the bottom line is that the baby is left to cry. Is it really o.k. How do I know if this is what Hashem wants? I was trying to think who to ask. I feel confident that with your warmth, love and Torah Hoshkofa I will be set on the right path. Please can you advise me what to do.
Thank you so much.
Ester Rochel Gerber |
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Reply: |
| I believe that there is a wonderful formula that i write about in the book that gives us the right direction-'with the right hand we bring close, with the left we discipline'. This will always work even in this area. yes, you would like to give boundaries, like teaching your child to sleep through the night. he is at the right age and needs his sleep as do you to be a good and patient mother. I would not leave him crying though, straight through-that would be all left hand and no right hand. I would allow him to cry for a minute in his crib and then go in and soothingly say, mommy loves you, shhh, it's time to go to sleep. do not pick him up though. after doing this and soothing him, go out. he will still cry. this time, stay out for 2 minutes and then come in and speak lovingly. you can do this by doubling the time each time you step out and then soothing him. after a while, he will fall asleep, you'll see. this may take a week and you will need lots of patience and fortitude but then it will work and you will know that you did not just let your baby cry himself to sleep without some loving words. also be sure to sing the Shema and hamalach Hagoel before you start your sleep routine.
best,
slovie |
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