|
Ask Us Query: |
| BS"D
Dear Slovie,
I am dating a man who is growing in his Judaism. He attends Torah shiur's, makes kiddush and havdalah. wears a kippa to make blessings and lives at home with his mother who is an blind invalid whom he takes care of with the help of a caretaker.
I feel good and comfortable with this man but I am so far more observant than him. I keep shabbos fully, wear skirts all the time and study Torah regularly.
We are not shomer negeah and he tells me he doesn't want a mechitzah at the wedding if we get married. I won't get married unless there is a mechitzah.
Should I just break up with him or continue and wait and see. I am confused.
Thank you,
ALiza |
|
Reply: |
| Dear Aliza,
I understand that you feel that this man is kind and compassionate; especially since he takes such wonderful care of his mother. The issue is not his goodness but, rather, the fact that you are both on such diverse levels of observance. In the future this may bring you much heartache once you are married. I have spoken with many couples who have struggled with just this issue and the conflict then spilled over to their ideas about child rearing. Shabbos is not just about one parent sitting at a table or going to synagogue while the other parent watches t.v. or goes out to play tennis. What happens when children are faced with this conflict? And each holiday, or even decisions about school bring more strife into the home. If you are unable to resolve the mechitzah issue how can you hope to resolve greater life issues? I would never advise you to break up based on an email-but, I would tell you that you must first resolve these religious differences before you try to establish a home that is filled with 'shalom bayis'-peace within the home and tranquility.
best wishes for mazel and blessings,
slovie |
|
Print |
|
<< Previous Question
|
Next Question >>
|
|
|
