The Pain of Loneliness (Conclusion)
Special Note: In last week’s column, I published a letter from a man who experienced some very severe tests in his life and consequently lost his way. While his background was strong and positive, and he was raised in a warm, loving, religious home, his marriage was a failure. He went under the chuppah convinced that the girl was his basherte (destined soul mate), but very quickly, his hopes were dashed as he realized that his marriage was just not working. The thought of divorce entered his mind many times, but then he decided that he had to give the marriage a chance. Soon, his young wife informed him that she was expecting a baby, putting thoughts of separation on hold.
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`The Pain of Loneliness`

Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis:

          Where do I begin? If someone had told me a year ago that I would write to you for guidance I would probably have said, “You’re out of your mind!” I was so turned off from Judaism that a rebbetzin was the last person I would have wanted to speak to although I heard many wonderful things about you.

`The Story`
Special Note:  At the conclusion of last week’s column, I wrote of the power of a story to inspire and strengthen, and I explained that, B’ezrat Hashem that would be the medium that I would use in my address in Jerusalem on Yom Hazikaron - the day designated to memorialize the fallen soldiers of Israel.
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`A Time To Speak`
Special Note: I would like to take this opportunity to extend my warmest good wishes to all our many readers for a Chag Kasher V’Sameach. At the same time, I would also like to express my appreciation to those who have written and e-mailed to convey their own good wishes. I am deeply touched by the volume of mail and the brachas, the blessings that have come from every part of the globe. Please accept my heart-felt appreciation. May Hashem grant that this Pesach usher in our true geula – our true redemption, and may we merit to behold Elijah the Prophet announcing the coming of Moshiach speedily in our own day.  
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`In Honor of My Father`

Special Note: Every year, it is incumbent upon us to recount the story of Passover and our exodus from Egypt, and we never tire of it. But it is not only our collective history as recorded in the Hagadah that we recall, – we also have our own personal memories that we associate with Pesach. In the past, I have shared with you some of my own recollections, and now, in honor of the holy memory of my dear revered father, HaRav, HaGaon, HaTzaddik, Avraham HaLevi Jungreis, Z’tl, I will once again relate the story.

`The Pesach Dilemma` (Conclusion)
         In last week’s column I published a letter from a mother of five children who had a “Pesach Dilemma” in reverse. Most often, it is Bubbies - grandmothers, who complain of the Pesach pressure – children and grandchildren coming home for Yom Tov and treating  Bubbie’s home like a resort complete with maid and baby-sitting services as well as dining facilities. Somehow, they seem to lose sight of the fact that there is only one person responsible for all these services, and that is Bubbie.
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`The Readers Respond - Two Letters`
Special Note: Some weeks ago, I published a letter from a religiously observant young lady of twenty six who was dating a secular young man. He promised to become observant after marriage, and the girl wondered whether she could trust him to follow through. I responded with a capital “NO” and explained that whatever changes he intends to make must be done here and now. Promises for the future are just minefields that explode and destroy shalom bayis. I received many letters in response to her dilemma and I share with you excerpts from two of them.
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`The Pesach Dilemma`

Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis:

          Twelve years have passed since I was married, and Baruch Hashem, during these twelve years, Hashem has blessed us with five adorable children, blee ayn hara. I work very hard at keeping an orderly home, doing homework with the children, and transporting them to school (even though they could be bussed). The bus comes very early, and if my children took it, they would have had to sit on the bus for more than forty-five minutes, while I can get them there in less than ten minutes. I’m not complaining. I know I don’t have to do it – but it’s my option and my pleasure to do so. I make mention of all this to give you some idea of my daily schedule.

`Even A Child Can Understand`
         As I wrote in my last column, I have just returned from an extensive speaking tour of South Africa. The very first time that I was invited to speak there was over thirty years ago when it was still an apartheid state, but despite the political situation at the time which limited the number of people attending public gatherings (especially on university campuses), with the help of Hashem, I was privileged to address overwhelmingly large crowds, not only at synagogues, but at universities as well. I also spoke at the Coliseum, which, in those days, was the Madison Square Garden of Johannesburg.
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`How Can It Be?`
           I began writing this article on a return flight from South Africa. For the past two weeks, I have been speaking in Israel, Johannesburg and Cape Town. It was a long, arduous, but most rewarding trip, and I wrote an article on the plane in which I conveyed the many amazing events that had transpired – the spectacular hearts and souls of our people that always respond to words of Torah. Indeed, I can testify that the eternal spark that Hashem planted in the Yiddishe neshama glows as brightly as ever one must only ignite it.
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`Passing Life`s Tests`
Special Note: In last week’s column, I mentioned that, B’ezrat Hashem, I am embarking on a new project - the publication of the sequel to Life Is A Test. I explained that I have received countless letters and e-mails from young and old, male and female, secular and observant, relating how the book impacted on their lives and brought about a transformation. At the suggestion of my publishers at Art Scroll, I will, B’ezrat Hashem, compile these stories, all of which demonstrate how Torah values can enable us to overcome life’s most difficult challenges, and I invite all our readers to participate. Send your story to me by letter (232 West End Avenue, NY, NY 10023) or e-mail (hineni@hineni.org), and please indicate if you want your name used or you prefer to remain anonymous.
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`Hooked By Your Book`

Special Note: Since the publication of my book, Life Is A Test, I have been deluged by mail from all over the world. These letters have come from the Torah community as well as from secular, assimilated sources. But there is a common thread that unites them all, and that is the impact that Life Is A Test has had upon them.

`Can I Trust Him?` (Conclusion)
Special Note:  In last week’s column, I published a letter from a young lady who found herself caught in a web of indecision – “to marry or not to marry”.
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`Can I Trust Him?`

Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis:

          I feel very troubled and confused. I have to make the most important decision of my life and I am very conflicted and lacking in clarity, so my parents, who are great fans of yours, suggested that I write to you for guidance. As far back as I can remember, your articles were always read at our Shabbos table, and seeing how you responded with wisdom and sensitivity to each and every problem, I felt very comfortable writing to you. Should you decide to print my letter, please omit my name and the name of the community in which I reside. I wouldn’t want anyone to recognize my story.

`The Enemy Without and the Enemy Within`
         Your destruction shall come from within” is the prophetic warning imploring us to come to our senses- but the call is lost in the darkness of our chaotic world.
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`Life Is A Test - The Power of Faith`
Special Note: When I wrote my most recent book, I weighed and considered what the most appropriate title should be, and although I examined many options, the title that kept repeating in my mind was “Life Is A Test”.  The reason for this was two-fold - first and foremost, because that is the metaphor through which our Torah itself describes life: “V’Elokim nissa et Avraham...” - “And Hashem tested Avraham...”, and secondly, because ours is a generation which is being severely tested. Indeed, the passage from our Torah, Ain bayis sh’ain shom mase... – “There was no home that was not afflicted...” is only too applicable to us today.
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`Final Word On The New, But Troubled Mother-In-Law`
          To all intents and purposes, when I responded in my column to “The New But Troubled Mother-In-Law”. I thought that I had concluded the discussion. However, I received quite a lot of mail on the subject, and I was struck by one common thread that ran through all the letters, and that is that none of them actually dealt with the problem that the woman presented!  Instead of addressing her conflicts, they injected their own personal biases, and based on that, proffered their advice.
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`New But Troubled Mother-In-Law` (The Readers Respond)
Special Note: The focus of my last two columns was on a conflicted new  mother-in-law who wondered whether she had the right to speak her mind or whether it would be the better part of wisdom to remain silent and not jeopardize the shalom bayis of her daughter. I responded and advised her how to best deal with her situation. In the interim however, I received many letters from our readers expressing their opinions, and I will now share two of them with you. 
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`A New But Troubled Mother-In-Law` (Conclusion)
          In last week’s column I published a letter from a new mother-in-law who felt that she was navigating in turbulent, uncharted waters. Her eldest daughter, age twenty-three, was married six months ago, and since this was the first shidduch in her family, she was uncertain as to what her role as a mother-in-law should be. At what point should she voice her opinions, and at what point should she remain silent.
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`A New, But Troubled Mother-In-Law`

Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis:

          This year, my husband and I had the great zchut - privilege of taking our oldest daughter under the chuppah. We have, Baruch Hashem, six children, and this was our first wedding and  a first for my parents as well, since our daughter is their oldest grandchild.

`From One Who Is Living It`

Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis

          I read with great interest your article regarding the crises our people are confronting in Israel and throughout the world. As much as you write, (and I appreciate every word, because sadly, too few tell the story like it is), it still doesn’t fully reflect the enormity of the crisis.

`How Can You Sleep?`
           “Ma Lecha Nirdom?” How can you sleep? – Get up and call out unto your G-d?” was the challenge with which the captain of the ship confronted Jonah as the vessel tossed on the angry sea on the brink of capsizing.
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`It Is In Every Yiddishe Neshama`
         We hear so much about the hopeless predicament of our assimilated brethren. The latest statistics show that our young people are indifferent to their faith, to their heritage, and would not be unduly perturbed if, G-d forbid, Eretz Yisrael would disintegrate.
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`Personal Experiences From Our Readers`
Special Note: A few weeks ago, I published a letter from a single woman who was in conflict as to whether or not she should accept a marriage proposal from a man whom she described as “kind, smart, but nerdy”.  Subsequently, I have received many letters from our readers who wrote of their own experiences. The following is just one of them:
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`We Dare Not Be Silent`
           I usually write my articles at the last minute. My kind editors at “The Jewish Press” are very patient with me. They take into consideration that it is not lack of will that makes me late, but rather, my schedule, which Baruch Hashem, is so loaded that I have all to do to fit everything into a twenty-four hour day.
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`Is He For Me?` (Continued from last week)
Special Note: In last week’s column I published a letter from a thirty-six year old woman who made aliyah from New York to Jerusalem and was torn by a shidduch dilemma. While she desperately wanted to marry, establish a true Jewish home, and bring children into the world, she had difficulty saying “yes” to the man who proposed marriage to her. She was simply not attracted to him, and while she found him to be a fine, considerate, smart person, she also described him as “nerdy”.
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`Is He For Me?`

Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis:

          Your article regarding the thirty-six year old woman who was in a state of confusion as to whether she should marry, lit a fire in my family and put me on the spot. Allow me to explain and give you some background.

`The Power of the Jewish Soul`
           During the past month I have spoken in Jewish communities throughout the length and breadth of the U.S. - and I have also crossed continents to reach out to our people in far flung places throughout the world. Very often, as in Argentina, I did not speak the language and had to rely upon simultaneous translation to convey my message, but amazingly, there was no language barrier. Whether I was in Europe, South America, or right here in our own U.S.A., it made little difference. For our people, there is only one language, only one message - and that is Torah.
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`Should I Marry Him?` (Conclusion)

Special Note: In last week’s column I published a painful letter from a young woman whose mother passed away while she was in high school and who assumed the responsibility of caring for her younger siblings. Her father remarried, but unfortunately, the marriage was a disaster and ended in divorce. A subsequent marriage turned out to be troubled as well but nevertheless remained intact.

`Should I Marry Him?`

"Should I Marry Him?"

`What Are We Doing To Ourselves?`
          There are a pile of e-mails and letters on my desk. For the most part, they are questions concerning relationships, and they run the gamut from shidduch problems -- finding your soul mate, shalom bayis (harmony in the home) and raising children, to caring for elderly, infirm parents. Ours is a generation beset by problems – nevertheless, this time, I have decided to respond to these questions privately, for I feel that I must write about the unconscionable outrageous situation vis- a-vis Israel that is unfolding before our very eyes.
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`The Greater Threat` (Continued from last week)
           Events unfold so rapidly in our society that before we can quite absorb one situation, something new erupts. So, Ahmadinejad speaking at Columbia University is already tired news. But tired as it may be, we have to stop and consider how it was possible that such a grotesque travesty was permitted to take place on a New York City campus on which many of the University’s Board members, professors and students are Jews.
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`Shameful!`

         I find it astonishing and shameful that nothing has been learned from our recent history. How is it possible that just sixty short years after Hitler, a new Hitler is being feted at one of New York’s most prestigious institutions – Columbia University?  Can it be that anti-Semitism is once again rearing its ugly head – even in America? Or is that which we are witness to, an indication of academic absurdity – academicians who are leaning so far to the left that they are actually legitimizing terrorism... How else can one interpret Columbia President Lee Bollinger’s decision to invite one of the most evil men of our time to speak in the hallowed halls of Columbia University in the guise of “Freedom of Speech.”?

`Memories`
          As I write these words, it is a few days before Yom Kippur. Memories crowd my mind – memories of my holy parents, HaRav HaGaon Avraham Halevi Jungreis, Z’tl and Rebbetzin Miriam Jungreis, O.H.  Even now, I hear my father’s voice – I hear his brochas; I feel his loving hands upon my head; I see the tears welling in his compassionate, beautiful eyes. And I hear my father’s awesome voice. I hear his tefillas, his holy prayers.
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`Yom Tovim Are Not For Me`
Special Note: I would like to take this opportunity to publically express my gratitude to the Ribbono Shel Olam - the Almighty G-d, for having granted us the privilege of celebrating the most spectacular Torah dedication - a Kiddush Hashem in every way.
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`The Yom Tovim Are Not For Me`

(Continued from last week)

`THE YOM TOVIM ARE NOT FOR ME!`
Special Note: May I take this opportunity to extend my personal best wishes for a K`siva V`Chasima Tova to all of you, my dear readers and friends. As I mentioned in a previous column, at this time of year, my husband, HaRav Meshulem HaLevi Jungreis, Z`tl, would always interpret the meaning of the New Year through an acronym that would portend blessing.
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`It Has To Give You Goose Bumps`
          My grandfather five generations back, HaRav HaGaon HaTzaddik, Rav Osher Anshil Halevi Jungreis, Z’tl, better know by his monumental work, “The Menuchos Osher”, was a world renowned sage who was privileged to bring blessings and miracles to the Jewish people. Stories about him are legion, and whenever I am in Hungary, I, like countless others, visit his holy grave site in the shtetl of Csenger. His miraculous powers were such that even the peasants in the shtetl speak of him with great reverence, and his grave site is protected and cared for.
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More On `How Much Do I Have To Tell?` (Continued)
Special Note: Several weeks ago, I published some letters regarding shidduchim and disclosure of illness. While I thought that the discussion was closed, I have since received many letters reflecting the points of view of those who themselves were suffering from illness. I am pleased to share their views with you through the following excerpts from four letters:
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`How Could It Have Happened?`
          I am writing this article en route to New York from Budapest. Whenever I visit Hungary and pray at the grave sites of my ancestors who were all gedolim, tzaddikim, righteous holy souls who dedicated their lives to the service of G-d and led their people with love and devotion, I am overwhelmed by one thought – how could it have happened?  How could that magnificent Jewish community have disappeared? How could they have wiped out six million of our people overnight?
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`JEWISH WITHOUT BEING JEWISH`

           “Wait a minute, Rebbetzin,” you might protest, “isn’t the title of your article an oxymoron? How can you be Jewish without being Jewish?”

“I agree with you wholeheartedly, but that is the phenomenon to which we have been witness this past week.”

`How Much Do I Have to Tell` (Continued from last week)
Special Note: An avalanche of mail has come to my desk since the publication of the letter from the mother of a bi-polar son. It appears that there are many victims who have suffered in marriages and were left scarred by their spouses.
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`How Much Do I Have To Tell?`
Special Note:  In last week’s column, I published a letter from a hurting, conflicted mother. She described a very sad but real dilemma confronting her and her husband. Their son, who to all outward appearances was an exceptional young man - bright, tall and handsome, suffered from an emotional illness which psychiatrists had identified as bi-polar disorder. By dint of great effort, she and her husband had managed to keep this information secret.
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`How Much Do I have To Tell?`
             I grew up with your column. My Bubbie, who lived with us after my Zeide, O”H, passed away, was your greatest fan. I was fortunate enough to have a very special relationship with her. She was an amazing lady - one of a kind, full of love, wisdom, and emunah, the likes of which you do not see today. I write all this so that you may understand why I am turning to you at this time. I know that if my Bubbie were alive today, she would say, “Mei kind,freig an aitze fun dee Rebbetzin...”  – “Go ask  for advice from the Rebbetzin.”
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`Preparation For Life`

"Preparation For Life" 

         My granddaughter, Shaindy Wolff-Eisenberg is currently living in Yerushalayim. She is in her Shana Rishona - first year of marriage, which our tradition terms a most special time in a young couple’s life. Rebbetzin Assaf, the esteemed minaheles of Manhattan High School for Girls, invited Shaindy to write an article describing her experiences. Her message was so sensitive and heartfelt, that I felt that it should be shared, not only with the student body of that very fine educational institution, but also with you, my dear readers. So here it is:

`To See and Yet Not to See`

"To See and Yet Not to See"

          Who can comprehend the blindness that has overtaken our Israeli political leaders?

`An Eternal Spark` (Two Letters)

         Sometimes you wonder what one speech, one teaching of Torah, one Jewish experience can do. Conventional wisdom dictates that by necessity, such experiences are superficial and therefore cannot have any lasting impact. Having been among the first to start outreach over forty-five years ago, I can testify that there is a magic in the Yiddish neshama - a magic that is eternal, a magic that may appear to be dormant, but is very much alive, a magic that is called “the pintele Yid”.

           What is this pintele Yid?

`Shidduch Crisis - Self Inflicted`
Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis

          I have been carefully following  your articles on shidduchim.  Baruch Hashem, I’m not looking for a shidduch – all of my children are married. Hashem gave us a brocha, and this past year, the youngest of our children went under the chuppah, and I might add that we have thirteen children, eleven of whom are girls. Often, I wondered what would be.

`Is This My Shidduch?` (Continued from last week)
           Special Note: In last week’s column, I published a letter from one of our readers who suggested that I share with you excerpts from the chapter on shidduchim in my new book, “Life Is A Test.”
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`Give Me a Segula to Find My Shidduch` (Continued from last week)

Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis:

       I’ve been following your articles in regard to finding a shidduch and segula-omens that people seek to help them attain this goal. I thought that your answer to the young lady was right on target, but I also think that your chapter on finding your soul mate in your new book, “Life Is A Test” should serve as a guide to parents as well as to every single person in finding a  marriage partner.

`Can You Give Me A Segula?` (Continued)

Special Note: My column on “Can You Give Me A Segula - Omen?” has evoked much comment. Many letters and e-mail have arrived at my office expressing various points of view.  It is gratifying to see that so many care enough to take the time to respond and share their views.

`Can You Give Me A Segula?` (Conclusion)
 In last week’s column, I published a letter from a young woman who bemoaned her single state. She describes her terrible pain, her feelings of loneliness, and her hopelessness at finding a shidduch.
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`Can You Give Me A S`gula?`

Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis:

          I really don’t know where to begin - I am so sad, but I am beyond tears. I can’t even cry any more, so I am writing this letter to you in desperation. I guess I should tell you something about the painful situation in which I find myself. I am still single - all of my classmates are married and have children, but nothing is happening with me. It’s like everyone forgot about me. I feel so terribly alone.

`Is This My Shidduch?` (Conclusion)

          In last week’s column, I published a letter from a ba’alas tshuva who was in a quandary as to whether she should marry the young man she was dating. She wrote that she loved him and cared deeply for him, but at the same time, she was very troubled because he came from a dysfunctional, abusive home and had a very bad relationship with his parents.

`Is This My Shidduch?`

Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis:

          I have been following you for years... your column in The Jewish Press, your books, and whenever the opportunity presented itself, your amazing Torah classes at Hineni on the Upper West Side as well as at K.J. on the Upper East Side Presently. I find myself in a terrible dilemma, and I just don’t know how to resolve it. I keep vacillating, not knowing which way to go, so I decided to ask you for your input because the uncertainty is driving me mad.

`Hold On To The Spirit`
          The days of Pesach are past and the time has come to recite a special ode of thanks to the unsung heroines of this Yom Tov - the many balabustas - mothers and grandmothers who lovingly gave of themselves.... cleaning, cooking and baking for their extended mishpochas, who, Baruch Hashem, came home for Yom Tov.
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`When Parents Are not Accepting` (Conclusion)
        In last week’s column I published a letter from a young mother, a ba’alas tshuva (new returnee to Judaism), who was experiencing some very difficult trials with her parents.  She grew up in a home in which there was virtually no religious observance or commitment outside of a perfunctory visit to a local reform temple on the High Holidays. Her siblings were all intermarried and had xmas trees in their homes, and her parents had no problem accepting that. When however, she embraced a life of Torah and mitzvos, they vehemently objected and today,   five years later, their animosity has not abated.
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`When Parents Are Not Accepting`

Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis

          I just finished reading your book, “Life Is A Test”, and I must tell you that it made a huge difference in my life. As matter of fact, I purchased ten more copies to give as gifts. In discussing your book with friends, what I found most amazing was that those who were F.F.B (observant from birth) and those who were ba’alei tshuva (newly returned Jews), as well as those were uncommitted, were all inspired and impacted  - so I thank you and hope that you continue to write.

`Spiritual Blockage`
     Since the publication of my new book, “Life Is A Test”, I’ve been on book tour all over the world - wherever Jews live.
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`Role Reversal - When Mom is the Problem` (Conclusion)
Special Note: In last week’s column, I published a letter from a stressed-out woman. There were six children in her family; nevertheless the responsibility of caring for her elderly, widowed mother fell solely on her. Her siblings live out of town, while she lives in close proximity to her parent, so she is in charge.
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`Role Reversal - When Mom is a Problem`

Dear Rebbetzin Jungreis:

          I never thought hat I would be in a position in which I would have to write for help, but I guess that no one ever thinks that a problem can happen to them until they are hit with it.